The other morning my mom and I were riding our bikes.
It was a beautiful morning, the air was perfect, ocean views and no agenda.
We felt free!

Then we passed a woman walking her dog. Apparently she was under cover, no uniform, but full of authority.

She shouted at us… “You’re riding on the wrong side of the road!” and then… “You should have a helmet on!”

Is there anything worse than self appointed authority? She made me not want to do either of the things she demanded! I want to be FREE!

But you know what I’ve been accused of… Giving unsolicited advice! As ugly as she seemed to me, I often appoint myself as the bike police.

Actually my close friends and family would say I’m the “how you’re supposed to think” police. Or the “what you should do or say for the universe to hear it correctly” police.

Yuck! But I’ve even made it into a blog! I offer advice all the time! I’m really good at it! I make a living at offering new perspectives!

So, what do I do about this part of myself that can be pretty ugly?

I could try and force myself to bite my tongue when I have an opinion – That would hurt! And probably not last very long!

Or…

I could embrace this part of myself and find a healthy outlet for it. I could try and put myself in other’ shoes and really listen to where they are coming from. I could STAY CURIOUS. I could ask questions.

I could be in the moment, and let the magic happen.

And I could be easy on myself. I could assume that since you’ve “opted-in” to my blog you are actually soliciting my advice ;)!

What do you see in others that you don’t like, especially since it reminds you of parts of yourself you don’t like? I’d love to hear your confessions and learnings! Leave a comment below and share with us all.

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5 Comments

  • tazmine July 27, 2009 at 10:27 am

    I love your advice and think it's great. Consider me officially soliciting your advice.

  • sphares July 27, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Hi Sue! I think most people will take advice and even criticism from other people if it's presented and given in the proper manner, i.e., out of a spirit of friendship and true concern and accompanied with healthy doses of praise for the good. Personally, I have a 25 year old stepson that is the laziest, most half-ass, slob I know … this kid wouldn't wipe his own butt if he thought he could get someone else to do it … drives me nuts. Fortunately, these are NOT things I see in myself, I have never been that lazy in my life. We had him out of the house and on his own for almost a year, he's back now supposedly “looking for a new place” …. it can't happen soon enough for me.

  • Taz Loomans July 27, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    I love your advice and think it's great. Consider me officially soliciting your advice.

  • sphares July 27, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    Hi Sue! I think most people will take advice and even criticism from other people if it's presented and given in the proper manner, i.e., out of a spirit of friendship and true concern and accompanied with healthy doses of praise for the good. Personally, I have a 25 year old stepson that is the laziest, most half-ass, slob I know … this kid wouldn't wipe his own butt if he thought he could get someone else to do it … drives me nuts. Fortunately, these are NOT things I see in myself, I have never been that lazy in my life. We had him out of the house and on his own for almost a year, he's back now supposedly “looking for a new place” …. it can't happen soon enough for me.

  • Sue Vittner: Massage - Art - Coaching July 28, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    thank you taz! looking forward to our workshop where we’ll give advice on Less/More!!

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