“Is he cute?” is a question I hear myself asking a bunch these days.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re single and starting out in the dating scene there’s a superficial trap that you can easily fall into? It’s like all of the personal value development that you’ve been doing all of this time goes out the window.
I was talking to a friend recently about his shoes. He has about 4 times more shoes than I have! His reason…”After my divorce I realized if I’m going to get dates I’d better start paying attention to my outfits!”
I notice I’m more conscious of how I look recently as well. When I get ready to go out on a first date I seem to take three times as long to pick something to wear as when I would go out with a boyfriend I’d had for years.
I’m pumping away at the gym more (which I actually love doing), but the thought of getting into a bathing suit these days still isn’t that exciting!
Last summer when I was in a long term relationship I was in worse shape and practically lived in my swimsuit and I felt great!
Are these low self esteem signs, or are they just part of the nature of the beast?
When I bought my first house I remember talking to the loan officer about people’s credit scores. He said he always knows when women are newly single because they have so many charges on their newly opened Victoria Secret credit card!
What is it about this need for a good first impression that makes us a little crazy and forget who we really are, on the inside?
And what gets us over the first impression to look deeper? To trust that the other person will see our personal value development?
I noticed this great sign on a house for sale the other day which got me thinking of all this stuff.
What is possible in our lives when we see the inner beauty in others and things… and most importantly in ourselves?
I met with a psychic recently and of course the subject of guys came up!
Her wisdom…just be yourself and shine your light on them!
I think from now on I’m going to ask my friends, “Is he gorgeous on the inside?” Because you know what… I know I am!
What do you do to remind yourself that you are gorgeous on the inside? How do you show others that you see their inner beauty? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below…
27 Comments
Love this post Sue. You're so right, we tend to wrap ourselves up in how we look an how others look, but what really matters is what's on the inside. I think though it's also natural to want to primp and look nice when you're single! But it can't be all that's there to the point we forget the stuff that really matters. Love your analogy about the house. 🙂
Love this post Sue. You're so right, we tend to wrap ourselves up in how we look an how others look, but what really matters is what's on the inside. I think though it's also natural to want to primp and look nice when you're single! But it can't be all that's there to the point we forget the stuff that really matters. Love your analogy about the house. 🙂
Ohhhhhh… how wonderful it is to read that! Been feelin’ a bit blah lately. Now I have 20 fab pick-me-ups to spice up my inner Goddess. Thank you for the post.
yea its the swan…it totally didnt take 1 hrs. and that girl did win…the girl that won went on to gain weight back and besides plastic surgery looks just like she did before…she was on bravo’s battle of the network reality stars game…i watch too much tv i know…
Hi very great beautiful sharing looking very lovely all sharing is very impressive thanks for it.
Hi, Sue,
That was really a good post and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Thanks for helping us think more. It is the inside that truly counts, but it is reflective. I am rethinking my relationship with a wonderful gentleman and I am concentrating on the 'inner man'. Not that he doesn't have many outer nice qualities.
I am visiting my son in Ohio. It was good to see you recently! Have a stupendous day!
I'm Beautiful On The Inside but that is no true today ha ha ha.
I like this Sue. We all know beauty's only skin deep… but… when you're newly dating you tend to try to be someone other than who you really are. Because, I suppose… you might be feeling like who you really are just won't attract the other person.
It's like attraction marketing, though. AUTHENTICITY and TRANSPARENCY… always the best policy. If you attract somebody to your business or in a relationship on false pretenses (even if unintended)… then you're stuck to live up to somebody you are not. Talk about pain!
So I agree with your psychic (which I am NOT). Keep it real and be yourself. If that's not what the other person wants, then you won't really want to be with the other person… not unless you like misery.
Thanks for getting the ball rolling on this Sue! It's an important issue.
There haven't been any posts in a while, but I randomly found this community & said, “Hey, that's the community for me.” Simply put, I think I'm truly ugly. Three cheers for bringing this community back to life! Let's hear it!
I feel gorgeous on the inside when I am compassionate, loving, and kind to myself. When there is no ego battle. I just go for it with a HUGE SMILE. I use to fall into the trap of superficial of course who hasn't?! But I noticed how cheap it made me feel. It didn't make me FELL authentic and or empowered. I feel that when I SHINE my gift and show my authentic self people Like me more. When I put on a mask, people put on a mask. I love your blogpost Sue.
Thank You :))))
O yes this house is rarely very beautiful in the inside looking very beautiful thanks for beautiful sharing.
Personally I regard the human body as a prototype that the designer never got around to developing into a finished product. There's so many things that can go wrong, and all that peristalsis and complicated digestion – you'd think god could have been neater.
If I were to, what should I do? I've never met her before. I can't lift my arms or physically move much. I am smart and articulate.
I say go for it! Say something to make her laugh. Get her talking. Tell jokes. Women love men that are funny. If she's really nice, she just might want to get to know you more.
O yes that is rarely very beautiful for inside all is looking very nice pleas thanks beautiful sharing i love very much this post.
Wow very impressive sharing all is looking very beautiful thanks fore lovely sharing and this pleas is rarely very great and also very beautiful.
The grey poodle in this spot is a dead ringer for? my pooch. Scary. Perhaps she has a whole other life while I'm working?
O yes this is looking very Beautiful On The Inside all is very great sharing thanks fore nice sharing.
That accounts for the ones we normally see. There are those who could be still hot enough to emit radiation, light, where the residual heat is still high enough for us to see, but those would be rare.
I don’t know about the ease in and out stuff as that was not on the site then, however I did cut my eating the day before I started. I have done so very well with no problems and am a “text book” case I think.
Absolutely right you are buddy. your views on this post is really very nice.
Thanks.
Kevin left the group to spend time with his family, and try other things in the music business. but I know he's not a tiger trainer…
Sue! This is such a great post 🙂
Loving yourself on the inside and knowing you are beautiful, makes you the most desirable person in the world! Everyone is attracted to someone they can look up to. So shine your light on! Be beautiful! You truly already are 🙂
I would like to share a couple of posts that I think you'd probably appreciate 🙂
http://colettekenney.com/over-40-and-single-not…
http://colettekenney.com/if-you-find-it-difficu…
xo Colette
PS – I also love the new opt-in video by the way!!
I bought a new digital camera and I can't stop thinking how IF ONLY I didn't look like I do, IF ONLY i had an ounce of confidence, I could really show off pictures of myself instead of hiding them away.
Always swore to myself I'd never succumb to the lure of the ratings communities. But I did.
Hi. I'm Arynn.. I'm really bad at introductions… I'm from Michigan. I like music alot. My favorite band is Fear Before The March Of Flames. I think I'm ugly, so do alot of other people, I guess.
There's a few people who tell me I'm pretty/cute/hot/etc, and those are just my friends and my mom. Since they're my friends, I feel like what they think should be the only thing that matters to me in situations like that, but I really can't help but feel really bad when someone tells me I'm ugly.
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