What do you think of sin and judgment?
I was fortunate to spend some time with a former Pastor of mine last weekend, Tom. He used to be the chaplain in my college and was such an integral part of my spiritual development. He’s Lutheran, the religion I grew up with. He always pushed the envelop, that’s why I could relate to him so well.
He’s since retired and lives in Portland, Maine, so I joined him and his wife for church. It was a great service, I loved the pastor, and the sermon kept me laughing and paying attention.
However, since attending the Unity Church I’ve become quite conscious of what we tell ourselves. Of affirmations. Every time I go back to a Lutheran church it doesn’t feel good when we recite the following:
We confess that we are in bondage to sin, and cannot free ourselves. We have sinned against you in thought, word and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart, we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. For the sake of your son, Jesus Christ, have mercy on us. Forgive us, renew us and lead us, so that we may delight in your will and walk in your ways, to the glory of your holy name.
I’ve become so accustomed to positive affirmations and I know the power of our thoughts and words. I really don’t believe deep down that when we say the above that it’s true, or that it helps us live happy and healthy lives of transformation.
When I shared this with Tom he said something elegant like this, “too often sin is described as being at the end of a knife, when it really should be described as at the end of a watercolor paint brush.” (See why I love him so much!)
I’ve been sitting with this image for a week now.
In all of my pondering of sin and judgment I got to thinking of infidelity. I think most of the world thinks it’s a sin to commit adultery.
We have strong judgment about this.
What really happens to us when we judge someone else or ourselves? Personally, I know that I feel yucky inside when I judge someone else. It doesn’t feel good, even if the world would say I’m right in doing so and it’s justified.
For example, when I hear people talking about Tiger Woods and how awful he is I feel yucky and muddy inside. When I remind myself that I have no idea what his life is like and that I’m not able to be in his shoes and so can not judge him, I feel a sense of peace pass through me.
Remember what Jesus said on the cross?
What do our emotions tell us? If something doesn’t feel good, it’s because our Inner Being (or Love, Spirit, God) isn’t seeing it that way. So, if it doesn’t feel good to me to look at someone and say they’ve sinned, then maybe it’s because my Inner Being sees the whole scenario differently. Maybe there’s a bigger picture to the story that my human perspective just can’t see.
Let’s look at relationships and cheating. At one point or another in my dating life I have been in every role of this. I’ve been cheated on. I’ve cheated on. I’ve been the other woman. I’ve been in a totally commited relationship where we’ve both been faithful.
And I must admit in EVERY case, when I listened deeply enough I knew Grace was present. I’ve grown spiritually each time. And however painful some of it was, I wouldn’t change any of it for a second.
There was a little book I read ages ago called, Dear God This Is Anna. I always think of the point to that book…as humans we have our individual perspective, but God has all perspectives.
Friday I went on a hike. Here in the White Mountains there are lots of what they call, “false peaks”. It’s when you’re hiking in the beautiful trees and you come to a clearing with a view. It’s easy to think you’ve reached the top.
Friday I stopped at one of these clearings for a while to soak up the view.
Once I got back on the trail, just around the corner I came to another outlook that had an even more impressive view.
The point is, we don’t always know what is right around the corner. We don’t know what painting is being created at the other end of that paint brush.
I’ll even go so far as to say any time we judge another or ourselves, we’re interfering with the Grace that is so present to us. We are bucking our current. We’re limiting our path.
I know you’ve got to have an opinion about this one! So, please leave your comments below and let’s open up for lots of discussion…
42 Comments
I'm with you Sue! Judging others is a no-win situation. It assumes we are in a position to judge and I've never met anyone who's really in a position to judge. I.E., we are all humans dealing with our daily lives as best we can, who are we to judge other people who're doing the same?
I'm with you Sue! Judging others is a no-win situation. It assumes we are in a position to judge and I've never met anyone who's really in a position to judge. I.E., we are all humans dealing with our daily lives as best we can, who are we to judge other people who're doing the same?
great post Sue, I think judging depletes our energy whether your judging yourself or others, what we see in others we see ourselves, so true
Fishermen have lost their livelihood because of our thirst for oil. We must change our ways.
Fishermen have lost their livelihood because of our thirst for oil. We must change our ways.
So, if it doesn’t feel good to me to look at someone and say they’ve sinned, then maybe it’s because my Inner Being sees the whole scenario differently. Maybe there’s a bigger picture to the story that my human perspective just can’t see…
Personally, I know that I feel yucky inside when I judge someone else. It doesn’t feel good, even if the world would say I’m right in doing so and it’s justified….
For the sake of your son, Jesus Christ, have mercy on us. Forgive us, renew us and lead us, so that we may delight in your will and walk in your ways, to the glory of your holy name…
It is easer to discuss with the general civilian population when the person has had parts of his brain removed–I mean, that’s objective. Its much hard to convince people, including judges, that the cause is the brain, separate from the self, in cases of mental illness/disease.
I’ve gotten pretty good at not urinating in my pants in public, or in bed at night. I can go without food for a significant period of time if I’m too busy to eat. I’ve gone as long as two days without sleep more often than I care to think about.
I'm against atheists because every time an atheist comes here they spam, and not answer the question. Atheists CANNOT possibly answer this question.
One of the contests is a group contest. Everyone comes up with a theme and decorates and dresses up etc. What kinds of criteria should i put on the judging card??
One of the contests is a group contest. Everyone comes up with a theme and decorates and dresses up etc. What kinds of criteria should i put on the judging card??
The scriptures even tell us to “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” This statement has many meanings to me, one of them being if we judge another, we are really judging ourself or asking judgements from others. I love how you mentioned that God has all perspectives. Very profound!
We're having a Halloween contest here at work. One of the contests is a group contest. Everyone comes up with a theme and decorates and dresses up etc. What kinds of criteria should i put on the judging card?
she said it was really hard, she didn't want to be bursting in laughter, she did not say she didn't laugh. everyone laugh at some point during the tryouts! And I have been to several of her concerts and never left with a migraine!!
This statement has many meanings to me, one of them being if we judge another, we are really judging ourself or asking judgements from others. I love how you mentioned that God has all perspectives.
it’s because my Inner Being sees the whole scenario differently. Maybe there’s a bigger picture to the story that my human perspective just can’t see.
I don't know, but if we make the playoffs and he plays like that i will jump threw the TV and kill him.
I try not to judge someone, but I DO judge them by their actions. I’d rather have someone who had a good work ethic and knew how to get the job done than a flashy inexperienced glib person who looked like me…
The operative word is “how”. We all judge people…but we must judge by their actions…not anything else. That was one the things I tried to instill in my kids. Well…seems I only suceeded with 2 of the 3 !
Judging someone is not a childish task. If you have the experience and your six sense help you to judge then its possible. Maybe there’s a bigger picture to the story that my human perspective just can’t see.
I think it’s somewhat dangerous to assume that because these acts occur within the privacy of a bedroom – as prosecutors like to argue: “crimes occur in secret” – that it necessarily means the offender is exercising control.
I usually feel irritated and somewhat hurt, but I try to prove the judge wrong. I try not to judge or to act on my judgment. My religion teaches me that judging is not my job.
I typically feel irritated and somewhat hurt, but I try to prove the judge incorrect. I look at not to judge or to act on my judgment. My religion teaches me that judging isn't my work.
I usually sense irritated and somewhat hurt, but I look at to prove the judge incorrect. I try not to judge or to act on my judgment. My religion teaches me that judging just isn't my job.
WOW Sue this is such a powerful post! When I was young I used to judge people who are cheating all the time. And oh man oh man,words I used to tell myself I wouldn’t say now. However, the 1 man I fell in love with right before my husband had a girlfriend. Oh he had me going crazy! We had a short affair when I was in my teens. I told myself after that incident that I would never judge people in their relationships. I learned so much lessons from that experience. And I always say that No experiences is wasted if you LEARN FROM IT. I love your words here sweetie, “Here in the White Mountains there are lots of what they call, “false peaks”. It’s when you’re hiking in the beautiful trees and you come to a clearing with a view. It’s easy to think you’ve reached the top.Friday I stopped at one of these clearings for a while to soak up the view.Once I got back on the trail, just around the corner I came to another outlook that had an even more impressive view.The point is, we don’t always know what is right around the corner. We don’t know what painting is being created at the other end of that paint brush.” You had me drawn so much to your story. You have such a great way of telling stories which I love. I also like your former pastor wisdom.
Thanks for sharing here Sue.
I appreciate it!
With Love
Your friend always
Therese Miu
I just went and looked up the definition of the word “lest” and yeah, I was using it improperly. Fortunately, however, the larger point still remains.
I really think the fact that you spent $1800 on a purse is the most absurd thing in the world, but your advice is like gold to me. Thanks for helping me through some tough times. Plus, your clothes? I want to steal them.
You hurt me, more than you realize. You do not have all the answers, and it appears if you remain that closed minded, you never will.
People make snap assessments, snap judgements, all the time, about people they don't know. we judge people on the street, or the bus, by what they look like – that's the only datum we have to work with.
it’s simply because my Inner Getting sees the entire scenario differently. Possibly there’s a bigger picture towards the story that my human perspective just cannot see.
it’s due to the fact my Inner Getting sees the whole scenario differently. Perhaps there’s a bigger picture on the story that my human perspective just cannot see.
This statement has quite a few meanings to me, 1 of them becoming if we judge yet another, we're really judging ourself or asking judgements from others. I love how you mentioned that God has all perspectives.
Hi Sue 🙂 Great post for stirring discussion…
In reference to judgement I like to quote “A Course in Miracles” and say that there is no such thing as sin. Sin is an ego based concept that exists only when we believe we are separate (when we believe we are not all one). Because “if we are separate, what we gain the world loses, and what it has we do not”
I love that you made reference to Tiger Woods and his sex scandal. As a relationship therapist and coach this is a topic that is very near to my heart. I say that infidelities happen when the relationship is less than ideal. Couples that is completely happy together do not cheat.
And yet I do not believe that cheating is bad – in the end everything his purposeful.
The only reason anyone would judge Tiger so harshly is because of the fear that this experience might happen to them in their own relationship. And that is where I encourage you to nurture your relationship. Love your partner unconditionally… This is not to say that you will be “protected” from being cheated on, but if you love unconditionally you know that you have no control over another. If you love unconditionally you know that you have signed up to experience life with another – whatever that may hold. In the end, we are here to experience life. We are here to live and let live.
When we focus on what we want, rather than what we fear, we get what we want… It's that simple. So if you don't want to experience what Tiger Woods has, don't waist your valuable thought and feeling energy on it 🙂
Colette
Hi all is great blog content sharing i love this blog very much this post.
Great points, Colette! Thank you so much for commenting and for adding to the conversation.
Thank you Therese for sharing your story with us! It's amazing how much we can learn when we put ourselves in someone else's shoes!
Thanks Debbie for your comment. Yes, since we are essentially all one and everyone in our life is just a mirror of what is going on in our vibration, when we judge another we are really judging ourselves!
Great point about it depleting our energy!
suppose a girl marries a boy with lower caste and is next generation will suffer for the caste issue? our previous generation still gives importance on these things.
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